Mo' Sibyl

빛나는 법| The One with Mo!- Mo!nologue I: Episode 2 (2019)

The More Sibyl Podcast Presents: The One with Mo!- Mo!nologue I

Woot, woot! She’s back!

Welcome to Season 2 – let’s just say that the creative break taken since December was well worth it. I am kicking the new season off with something a bit different – Mo!nologue series (see what I did there :-D?) – where you get to hear me just talk.

In this episode, I did a quick recap of Season 1 and gave some updates on the outcome of some episodes. A big one is how my podcast episode on miscarriage is changing a clinic’s practice in New York City. I also provided some updates on what I have been doing since December, upcoming travels (let’s hangout, if I am in your city), how I handled a recent failure in my life, my beef with the IRS, and some other moaning of life, in general.

Finally, I will be rolling out a new initiative this year to help with education scholarships and mentorship programs. Find out how you can be a part of this by supporting the show.

PS: I started adopting ASMR recently to help with insomnia, and I have stumbled upon some good videos. See show notes for details and listen to the end of the episode at my lame attempt to recreate ASMR.

선량한 국민| The One with Prof. Umez - Nigerian Passport Renewal in the Diaspora: Episode 1 (2019)

The More Sibyl Podcast Presents: The One with the Prof. Umez - Nigerian Passport Renewal in the Diaspora

It’s about time for me to renew mine and if there’s anything the last two renewals taught me, it’s that it’s a stress-inducing expedition coupled with perhaps, the worst customer service experience I have ever had. I did not want to make the trip to any of the Nigerian embassies in Atlanta, DC, or New York (partly to save time and money), so I searched Google for nearby Passport Intervention activities. What I stumbled upin was startling to say the least, especially an article written by today’s guest – Prof. Umez - on what he uncovered. There are several reports and eyewitness accounts of extortion and corruption by those entrusted to provide this public service to Nigerians. Prof. Umez is the president of the Nigerian Foundation in Houston, Texas and the Founder of the Nigerian Leadership Council in the United States.

In a few days’ time, the Consulate General of Nigeria based in Atlanta will be holding a Passport Intervention in Houston, Texas (see link below for more details). This episode highlights the ban and warning already in place to prevent innocent Nigerians from paying additional charges for this services.

Please share this with every Nigerian you know.

Thanks!

Bonus Episode: 브라보, 내 인생| The One with Mo! – Motherhood, Interrupted (2018)

The More Sibyl Podcast Presents: The One with The Villagers

Here you will hear some voice notes from the Villagers - some of those who have been supportive in this journey of miscarriage and pregnancy loss.

I reached out to some of them to leave me voice notes and voicemails. My hope is that some of their words might be encouraging to you too in your own journey.

Resurgam (we rise together),

Mo!

브라보, 내 인생| The One with Mo! – Motherhood, Interrupted: Episode 45 (2018)

The More Sibyl Podcast Presents: The One with Mo! – One in Four; Motherhood, Interrupted:

Of all the things we experience as women, there are some stories that remain hidden. And even when you do get to hear these stories, they are often told from the standpoint of someone who has weathered a forgotten storm.

Here’s a story that defies all of that.

In this episode, I had a heartfelt conversation on a recent pregnancy loss with a fellow sister. Mine ended in an early-stage miscarriage in October and hers, a still-birth at 31 weeks, in November. Culture says we are not supposed to tell you this story. But here we are telling it, anyhow.

Please note that I’m not sharing this story because I expect people to care about how all of this affects me. But because it’s comforting knowing that I am not alone. Maybe some of you who listen to this episode will see your story here. If not, I hope you at least find insight into something that happens all of the time, but only few talk about. After all, this affects one in four women.

People don’t know what to say when you lose a baby. It goes against the natural order of things. In fact, there isn’t even a name for parents who lose children. But after listening to this episode, the hope is you might know what to say to these people and see the ways to better support them in their journey. You would also hear what has proven the most beneficial in helping us heal this wound.

Also, here’s an honorable mention to those with no miscarriage or stillbirth or infant loss story, who are struggling. I just want to tell that person that it's OK. You are not alone and don't feel guilty. I have experienced loss too, and it's ok to grieve that which your heart longs and aches for.

Finally, this episode is dedicated to the loving memory of Araire (baby depicted in the cover story) and the several other unnamed babies who were lost in the early stages of pregnancy.

우리 사랑스러운 엄마| The One with Mom - The Life of Mo{m}: Episode 44 (2018)

The More Sibyl Podcast Presents: The One with Mom

In Episode 45 – The One with Zainab, Zainab and I talked about the song – Wear Sunscreen by Baz Luhrmann and what this song means to us. A line in that song “Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good,” inspired this episode with mom.

Like most families, mine isn’t without its secrets. Growing up, I had a hunch that my family was different, in terms of its origin. For starters, there were no wedding pictures (my parents legally got married eight years after I was born) and I thought my parents’ lives were interrupted. So what was the big secret?

Country bumpkin girl moves to the city with big dreams and bumps into city boy. Boy falls head over heels in love with girl. On one stormy night of passion, one thing led to another; girl *fell* pregnant and yours truly was conceived. Girl gets kicked out of the house and begins life, which became the life of mom. Sounds like an R-rated Korean Drama, right?!

This episode is really about getting to know that girl before she became mom and also an opportunity to give words to her fear. While, it’s a story about mom, her sacrifices, and the sheer strength of this woman I am blessed to call my mom, it’s also one about setting our stories free.

So, here’s me hoping you get to know your parents before they became mom and dad. You might just be surprised as to what you may find. I hope you let me know how it goes.

PS: You also get to hear one of my own struggles in this episode.

*Refer to The Linda Ikeji Dictionary, version 189

내 이상한 이웃들| The One with the Ghanaians - Nigeria (3) vs. Ghana (1): Episode 43 (2018)

The More Sibyl Podcast Presents: The One with the Ghanaians

Here’s a joke for you:

Two Ghanaians and a Nigerian walk into a bar… but left because they didn’t have Nigerian jollof rice.

Ghana, a relatively unknown place until Nigeria shot them into popularity (ugh, the things we do for them!). Also, Ghana, the place filled with people of mystery, strange English diction, low production movies, and weird jollof rice concoction. In a bid to explore this enigmatic country, I invited two Ghanaians over to my house over a meal of Indo-Thai goat curry, Korean steamed rice, and mixed vegetables (all made by yours truly). We explored salient issues like jollof rice (of course! And why Ghanaians cannot get this right), pet peeves (turned out I am more finicky than I thought, ugh), acculturation problems, adjusting to the educational system, books, what traits determine success in grad school, racial identity, questions about my marriage, and so much more.

소녀의 힘| The One with Zainab - The Dreams of a Rural Nigerian Girl: Episode 42 (2018)

The More Sibyl Podcast Presents: The One with Zainab

Meet Zainab – single mom, graduate student, and special-ed enthusiast! She hails from the Hausa tribe in the Northern part of Nigeria. Zainab has faced some adversities in her life as a domestic violence survivor and divorcee, but she’s turned that all around to pursue her dreams. She is currently pursuing a Ph.D. degree in Special Education at The University of Texas at Austin, majoring in learning disabilities and behavioral disorders.

She plans to go back to Nigeria to establish a world-class school in rural areas and provide free and subsidized education to children, especially those with special needs, who will otherwise not have access to education.

I met Zainab on an online forum, and we became fast friends. In this episode, we talked about her life story, why Northerners don’t migrate to the US, her dreams for her daughter, and why we all need to wear sunscreen, and so much more. Also, find out one thing Zainab does well, that shook me as a Yoruba girl.

Perhaps, the most central thing about this episode is the merit of educating the girl-child and providing her with equal opportunities to change the world around her. Also, remember to seek help if you are in an abusive relationship. Abuse is not OK!

내 눈을 통해| The One with Teresa Nhi Nguyen - Good Eye for Details: Episode 41 (2018)

The More Sibyl Podcast Presents: The One with Teresa Nhi Nguyen

As this is a show for Blacks, Asians, and those who love them, what better way to solidify that message than with this week’s guest – Teresa Nhi Nguyen. Nhi is pronounced /ɲi/ and Nguyen /ŋwɪn/. Teresa is a freelance graphic/web designer based in Austin, who hopes to create work that can serve to communicate beautiful messages, inspire others, and change the world. In her free time, she dabbles in HTML/CSS, goes on food adventures, and learn new skills to add to her arsenal. You can learn more about Teresa and her work here: http://nhibnguyen.com/.

In this episode, we talked about being Vietnamese-American means to her and the gentrification of the Asian culture via food and clothing. We also explored career switch, fear of failing, and managing parental expectations.

Perhaps, the most central thing about this episode is how our dreams can shape our world and that of the people around us – from Teresa’s father’s dream of fleeing communist Vietnam (way back then) to start afresh in the US, to Teresa’s dream of changing the world around her through her eyes and talents.

대통령 후보| The One with Rev. David Esosa Ize-Iyamu - The Nigerian Presidential Candidate: Episode 40 (2018)

The More Sibyl Podcast Presents: The One with Rev. David Esosa Ize-Iyamu

Meet Rev. David Esosa Ize-Iyamu, one of the more than 30 Nigerian presidential candidates running in the 2019 election. On a warm, humid Friday evening, just before I was scheduled to catch my flight out of Nigeria, I sat with him in his office to talk about his platform, why he is running, and what he hopes to achieve if given the opportunity to become the next president of Nigeria.

Rev. Ize-Iyamu is the senior pastor of Jesus Evangelical Assembly in Lagos. For more than 20 years, his platform – the Youth Revolution Movement (YRM) has aimed to mobilize youths to play a decisive role in the national socio-economic development and to see empowered Nigerian youths fully realize their potentials and positively contribute to the overall growth, development, and governance of Nigeria.

나 같은 친구| The One with Yvonne Edo-Olotu - The Beautiful Mind: Episode 39 (2018)

The More Sibyl Podcast Presents: The One with Yvonne Edo-Olotu

Here’s re-introducing, Yvonne Edo-Olotu. She is a lawyer during the day and a content creator at night/weekends. She is the brains behind the Beautiful Mind Podcast; you can find that show on iTunes/SoundCloud/Stitcher. We met when I worked in Ibadan (a Southwestern city in Nigeria) several years ago. She got her LL.M at Cornell University and recently returned to Nigeria. In this episode, we took a drive to memory lane to explore our differing personalities and how this defines our friendship; our love-hate relationship with Korean dramas and favorite shows; and why we, as women, need fewer mentors and other kinds of key players to advance our careers and grow personally and professionally.

We also talked about adjustments she had to make when she moved back from the US and how she builds social support in a city as boisterous and crazy as Lagos!

The More Sibyl Podcast Presents: The One with Buchi

Today’s guest on the show is very dear to my heart and has been a source of support and an oasis of wisdom, especially during some rough patches I experienced in my first few years in the US. Dr. Nnabuchi Anikpezie or 'Buchi (as I like to call him) is another Nigerian in diaspora trying to make a home in his new environment. Though he trained and worked as a physician before moving to the US, he currently works in healthcare administration as an analyst. His work does not define him, rather it is his Rotary affiliation that he credits for much of his experience and culture. 'Buchi has been part of Rotary for almost twenty years. He is the immediate past president of Rotary eClub One. 'Buchi lives with his family in the Houston metro area.

In this episode, we explored his childhood dreams, why he studied medicine, his decision to switch career trajectories, considering he took a different route than most of his counterparts who end up writing the USMLE and practicing in the US. We also talked about home, our constant search for it, and the sad realization of what we find at the end of it all. Also, on how his accidental stumble into fatherhood changed his life and sharpened his focus.

희망을 본다| The One with Afolabi - The Nigerian-American Returnee: Episode 37 (2018)

The More Sibyl Podcast Presents: The One with Afolabi

Now, even more than before, many Nigerians are leaving the country to seek better opportunities in developed countries. This is unsurprising if you consider the prolonged political and economic instability that have rendered the country hard and reductive for its inhabitants. For those who have moved abroad, fewer are even willing to relocate to Nigeria voluntarily. That’s why I find today’s guest intriguing. Meet Afolabi, who holds dual citizenship as a Nigerian and an American. He spent a chunk of his formative years in the US but made the decision to move back to Nigeria after college. In this episode, we explored the reason behind this decision, returnee issues, and how small businesses can thrive in a parasitic environment like Nigeria. Finally, what Nigeria, despite its extractive economic and political institutions, where a culture of monopoly, corruption, and lack of political rights are the norm, does relatively better to help businesses grow compared to Western countries.

호주 여자| The One with Tanya - Third Culture Aussie in China: Episode 36 (2018)

The More Sibyl Podcast Presents: The One with Tanya

Meet Tanya Crossman – she grew up in Sydney and Canberra, Australia, and lived in Connecticut, USA for two years of high school. She moved to China independently at age 21, where a study year turned into 11 years abroad. While in China, Tanya began mentoring Third Culture Kids (TCKs) - young people who, while not Chinese citizens, were growing up there due to parents' choices of work or study. After ten years spent supporting TCKs, Tanya wrote a book to explain their experiences and perspective to others. She currently lives in Beijing with her husband.

In this episode, we talked about homesickness, the constant search for home, acculturation, and how to build emotional support in a new country. In addition, we explored emotional resilience, why we should visit Australia, and what I would want people to know about Nigeria.

희망과 사랑| The One with Poojee - On Cross-Cultural Friendships & Resilience: Episode 35 (2018)

The More Sibyl Podcast Presents: The One with Poojee

This is one episode you should not miss as it features my very own Poojee!

In this episode, Poojee aka Omonike (my mother gave her this name, and it means ‘a child to be cherished’ in Yoruba – A Nigerian language) and I gush shamelessly about the love we have for each other. Pu, as I love to call her, and I went to grad school together in Austin, and she now lives in London. If you’re my friend on Facebook, you would have seen posts of me her and together. In this episode, we explored Poo’s story: growing up (female) in India; dropping out of grad school; how she coped with managing those expectations and from others too; our friendship and its oddities; and why we will not be breaking up anytime soon.

Poo is about one of the very few friends I chased (I am usually the one being chased), and I explain why this was so and why I would shamelessly do it over and over again. Poo is as geeky and nerdy as I am and loves Korean drama too. We also both share a mutual disdain for Apple® products. Suffice to say, our friendship will irretrievably break if either one of us cheats on the other by taking a bite from any of the already-bitten Apple products that are Mac and all of its i-Friends.

TL; DR: It’s a story of an odd love, friendship, and sisterhood between two most unlikely people who share different beliefs on religion (she is Hindu, I am Christian) and food (she eats rabbit food (aka vegetarian), and I eat rabbits (aka non-vegetarian), and even personalities (she’s introvertish, and I am hella extravertish, yup it’s a word!). How we make it work and how a little understanding and radical acceptance is needed in cross-cultural friendships. It’s also a story of resilience, dealing with the fear of failure, and keeping things moving.

우리의 이야기| The One with Shama - On Immigration and Storytelling: Episode 34 (2018)

The More Sibyl Podcast Presents: The One with Shama

Hey friends, I want to take a hot moment to let you know how grateful I am to have this platform to share stories and connect humanity. So, if you are reading this and would like to come on the show to share yours, please let me know. This is our platform, and together, we can set our stories free.

Meet Shama Farag – an Arabic-English Translator at TED talks, Coursera Global Translator Community. She’s an author and a journalist blogger at HuffPost Arabic, Aljazeera blogs, Sasa post. She is also a member of the Unitarian Universalist Church Interfaith community FIRE “ Fostering Interfaith relationship in Eastside,” a member at MAPS MCOC “Many culture one community,” member of IOC “Interfaith outreach community at Muslim Association of Puget Sound. She is Egyptian and a mom of two boys.

In this episode, we talked about heart stories and immigration, how Africans aren’t really taught about other African countries and what we can do to fix this. We also talked about what it is like being Egyptian, and she gave us reasons why we need to visit Egypt.

Her book, “Hi, I am Syrian” was inspired by some negative experiences she had as a Muslim and she decided to do something to change that narrative.

PS: My ignorance about African countries, especially Egypt, shone brightly in this episode.

Question: Why do you think Africans aren’t taught about other African countries?

마음과 건강| The One with Ayokunle Falomo - On Mental Health and Being: Episode 33 (2018)

The More Sibyl Podcast Presents: The One with Ayokunle Falomo

First, happy birthday to me! It’s the second anniversary of my 30th birthday! As a way of saying thank you to you all for being wonderful fans, here’s a bonus episode. It’s also a special one because it depicts my favorite trait in all of its rawness – vulnerability. In this episode, my guest – Mr. Ayokunle Falomo and I traded stories on our struggles with depression, how we cope with it, and how religion can be a cure and curse, depending on how it is wielded. I chose to share this with you all because I think it is important to remind you of the story behind the glory. I also believe that God is not silent when we suffer and that we ought to reject the shame and embrace the hope in Christ. Finally, that: 1) depression is not as uncommon as you think and affects a lot of people, 2) it’s OK not to be OK sometimes, and, 3) there’s always help around the corner.

So, I hope this episode helps someone feel connected and to remind that someone that they are not alone. Don’t give up on fighting and it’s OK to seek help. Here’s me saying that a new day will dawn tomorrow and you’d be there with me to practice your purpose once again; one replete with choosing life and finding ways to be more gentle and compassionate with yourself. That you would always remember to remind yourself that you are enough and always will be.That every baby steps you are taking right now to get back on track are a significant move towards the right path.

PS: We also explored how funnily our depression can be brought on by just not our fear of failure but when we succeed. And how there’s a recurring struggle with purpose and productivity, and how these are tied to our self-worth. Ayokunle Falomo is: a Nigerian, a TEDx speaker, an American, the winner of the 2018 Stacy Doris Memorial Award and the author of kin.DREAD & thread, this wordweaver must! As a poet, his singular mission is to use his pen as a shovel to unearth those things that make us human. He and his work have been featured in print (Local Houston magazine, Glass Mountain) and online (The New York Times, Houston Chronicle, and Berkeley Poetry Review. You can find more information about him and his work at www.kindreadbook.com

하바나, 하바나| The One with Dr. Planas - The Cubana-American Professor of Pharmacy: Episode 32 (2018)

The More Sibyl Podcast Presents: The One with Dr. Lourdes Planas

Welcome back to another episode of the podcast! I have not been getting feedback about the show like I used to, so I am guessing things are either good with the show or I’ve been forgotten L. Guess this is just to say, I’d love to hear from you. Please send me an email on talktomo@mosibyl.com or just say hello here :-D

Here is introducing Dr. Planas, Ph.D. - an Associate Professor of Pharmacy, my senior colleague, and African sister! Her office is two doors away from mine, and she’s partly one of the main reasons I landed my academic position at the University (it began with a conference in 2015, listen to find out how). I met through my advisor while I was still in grad school.

Dr. Planas or Lourdes as I call her is Cubana-American; her parents fled Cuba when she was just one month old. In this episode, we talked about life in the US and growing up in New Orleans instead of Miami (this has the largest concentration of Cubans). We also explored racial identity and how pharmacy helped her overcome racism and cultural identity issues, especially growing up in a time when it was certainly not cool to be Cuban.

You will also hear about the two clocks that are churning fast for fecund women in academia – the biological and tenure variety. And why Lourdes’ deliberate plan of putting her biological clock ahead of the tenure one is one she does not regret. Also, we talked about why women require more than just mentors to have a successful career.

Dr. Planas is married to Rick (also a pharmacist), and they have two adorable kids who I have had the pleasure of babysitting a couple of times. I am technically family :-D Lourdes also emphasized the importance of having a supportive spouse when on a tenure-track or in grad school while raising kids.

PS: After taping this episode, her mother’s DNA results were updated and linked with hers. She is 0.5% French, yayy her wishes finally came true. Only 0.5%, you say? C’est la vie!

인도의 사랑 이야기| The One with Emily - On Being Jewish-American-Indian: Episode 31 (2018)

The More Sibyl Podcast Presents: The One with Emily

A little-known fact about me is that I grew up on a staple diet of Indian movies, and this continued shortly until after Bollywood became a global phenomenon. India, for me, will always be my first entry point into Asia and its cultural diversity, as a young child growing up in Nigeria. And still on India, this week’s guest has a unique story, especially how her love for India was forged at a young age (hint: it began in a classroom). In this episode, you will hear how her dream spurned into something glorious that has now shaped her life-course and those of the generations coming after her.

Meet, Emily: she describes herself as Jewish-ish and a lover of Jesus. She is also a wife to Jose and mother to two delightful, energetic kids. In this episode, you will learn what it means to follow your calling even when you are not sure where it might lead you. You will also hear tips on multicultural marriage and how to raise kids in such a dynamic environment, as well as its beauty and challenges.

PS: This episode was shot in my house when Emily came visiting with her kids; you may hear her daughter’s voice in the background. Shout-out and a Namaste to Daphne Raj for introducing me to this wonderful lady.

올리비아에 대하여| The One with Kenny - The Unspoken Love of a Father: Episode 30 (2018)

The More Sibyl Podcast Presents: The One with Kenny

Still on the daddy issue (I know! But hear me out on this one). This week’s episode started with an email I received from one of my ardent listeners. It was also the first official fan mail I got!:

Dear Mo:

Everyone believes fathers should be strong and just provide financially while the mothers raise the children. I am a father of a 3-year-old daughter with a rare medical condition (which has resulted in massive learning/developmental delays). My wife and I are very hands-on in raising our daughter. What I've experienced in the three years of fatherhood is that the mothers get more support than fathers. I'm Nigerian born but been living in the UK for the last eight years. Do you have any guests who can talk on the topic - fathers and support for them?

The contents of the email tugged at my heartstrings. After much reflection on the choice of guest, I decided to ask Mr. Kenny if he wouldn’t mind doing the honors as I could not think of any other perfect guest to do justice to such an important and rarely discussed topic.

In this episode, you will hear about the challenges, societal expectations, and triumphs of raising a child with special needs. You will also hear tips on how to build and foster support for those with special needs, especially for parents and caregivers. More importantly, you will hear about a father’s love; the kind that is unspoken but constant, affirming, assuring, and ever-giving.

버마 소년| The One with Nathan - A Tale of Two Countries - Burma (aka Myanmar) & Nigeria: Episode 29 (2018)

The More Sibyl Podcast Presents: The One with Nathan - My Burmese Friend

Myanmar, formerly known as Burma, is the second largest country in Southeast Asia with a population of more than 50 million people. Chances are Myanmar is one of those countries that has never crossed your radar. It used to be this way for me too until I met my dear friend, Nathan, in 2014. Nathan is from Myanmar and is ethnically Chinese. He left Myanmar in his teens to live in Singapore. He holds a Masters in computer science and software development but switched his career by bagging an MBA with a focus on public health, so people won’t think he is the IT guy (*insert Asian joke here*).

In this episode, we explored the shadows of our countries, post-British colonization. If I learned anything from this episode, it is that poor countries (as measured by absolute poverty) have similar presentations, no matter what part of the world they are located in. This is because poor countries are poor because they have extractive economic and political institutions, where a culture of monopoly, corruption, and lack of political rights are the norm. (Recommended text: Why Nations Fail: The Origins of Power, Prosperity and Poverty (2013) by D. Acemoglu and J.A. Robinson). As a result, Nigeria and Myanmar as so much alike in more ways than I thought, and not just due to our common colonizer – the British.

I gauged his opinion on Aung San Suu Kyi, the Burmese Nobel Peace Prize Laureate, who is making headline news over her alleged inaction to the persecution of the Rohingya people in Rakhine State and refusal to accept that Burma's military has committed massacres.

We also talked about his hobbies – reading and traveling, as well as our mothers and WhatsApp broadcast messages.

PS: Nathan and I met in 2014 while interning at the same biotech company in Boston. During that time, we hung out a lot and explored a lot of the Boston scenes.. This episode was shot at his house in Somerville while I revisited Boston in July.