Mo' Sibyl

여자의 일생| The One with Ada - The Life of a Woman: Episode 12 (2018)

Here’s introducing my friend, Ada – one of the most beautiful souls I have ever met, who served in the US military. We explored her story from growing up in Nigeria, moving to the US, being drafted into the army, getting married, surviving an eventful divorce, raising multicultural kids, and life as a single mom.

We explored divorce in a cultural context (stigma, shame, losing friends, etc.) and what we can do to support divorcees around us (and it is not by choosing sides or totally avoiding them like a plague). We also talked about PTSD, mental health, and ways to self-care - post-divorce.

Outro-ish Song: *Don’t Let Us Get Sick* by Pat Guadagno; the original song was by Warren Zevon

Fun fact about Ada: She backpacked across Europe.

PS: To all the veterans like Ada, thank you for your service.

TL; DL:

How to Thrive after a Divorce:

Choose your battles
Stay alive
Do not rush into any kind of relationship (except with Ben and Jerry’s Ice-cream and chocolates, of course :-D)
Take your time to open up
Be vulnerable but not enough to allow reopening of old, healed wounds
Don’t waste yesterday’s tears on today

Mo SibylJune 7, 2018Podcast, Culture, Igbo, US-Veteran, Army, Divorce, Mental-Health, Self-care, PTSD, PPD, Mom, Nigeria, US Comments

다왔어| The One with Mo!+Olabimpe [Hot Seat Edition 2] - "I Came, I Saw, I Podcast:" Episode 11 (2018)

Nigeria: A $hithole Country?¿! Nah, it’s not but how else was I supposed to get your attention, ey? Hehe.

It’s no news that Mo! is back from Nigeria. In this episode, I answered several questions that were sent in from my listeners and friends regarding my just-concluded trip to Nigeria. We talked about everything ranging from food, social issues, traffic, politics, music, getting detained by the cops, why I won’t be moving back home just yet, getting high (on not what you think), how I evaded prying questions from my well-meaning countrymen and countrywomen, what I loved and disliked about my trip, and so much more. Thank you to every one of you who sent in the questions; you made this episode rock!

Outro-ish song: Ire by Adekunle Gold. This song has been my current earworm.

PS: This is a long episode, but I think you will love the dynamic between Olabimpe and me.

PPS: My friends call me Tolani too (Olabimpe called me this all through the episode); it’s from my full name Mo-Tolani.

PPPS: As a thank-you favor to Olabimpe, I am asking this for her. Does anyone know anyone who knows anyone who knows Lynxxx – the Nigerian rapper/singer? She would love to get his attention as she’s one of his biggest fans. #Askingforafriend

TL; DL:

Food I liked: Native rice and fish 😊

Foods I could not eat: Street roasted plantains (boli) ☹

On environmental pollution in Lagos: “Let’s forget about saving the whales and the trees. We need to start saving ourselves.”

The highlight of going back home: I was not Black anymore but your average Nigerian (Yoruba) girl.

The best thing about Nigeria: Nigerians - the love, the intentionality, the warmth, no Dutch pay.

Mo SibylMay 31, 2018 Comments

마음이 아플 때| The One with Som Ghosh - On Grief and Loss: Episode 10 (2018)

Last week, I took you on a trip to India with an interview with Dr. Shah. I decided to stay longer in India to bring you this week’s episode from another Indian. Losing one parent is hard enough but imagine losing both of your parents, and in addition to this monumental grief, having to cope with the guilt of being thousands of miles away from home when this happens.

In this episode, I speak to Som Ghosh – a Tabla-playing Indian living in America on grief observed. We talked about how grief is handled by Hindus and how certain burial rites performed by Hindus might make coping with grief better, and how he has been coping with losing both parents. I also talked about a personal grief and how I was able to (and still) cope with this. We begin his story from why he decided to leave his job at Pfizer and head on to pursue a PhD in Health Economics and Outcomes Research (HEOR) and tips for those considering going back to school after working for a while.

How to cope with grief, as surmised by Som and me (in no particular order):

Let grief run its course.
Take time to mourn the loss.
Cry if you must.
Label the emotions as they come, anger, sadness, pain, anguish.
Remember that emotions are like messengers, we do not shoot them. Listen to the gifts they bear and afterwards, send them on their journey in a nice way, knowing fully well that they might come back again.
Find someone you can trust to talk to about your grief. And if you cannot find someone, just like Tennessee Williams suggested, depend on the kindness of strangers who are usually obliagted to listen to you.
Seek grief counseling or therapy.

podcastMo SibylMay 24, 2018Podcast, Indian, India, PhD, Grief, Loss, Chennai, Death, Mental-health, grad-student, parental-lossComment

인도 의사| The One with Dr. Sanket Shah - Doctor, Doctor : Episode 9 (2018)

For this week’s episode, I talked to one of my favorite Indians and wonderful colleague - Dr. Sanket Shah, a medical doctor currently doing his PhD in Health Economics and Outcomes Research (HEOR) (a rarity for most MDs pursuing advanced degrees in the US) at my alma mater – The University of Texas at Austin.

We talked about and contrasted medical practice, culture, and education in India and the US. On graduate school in the US: imposter/impostor syndrome, expectational pressure, how not to quit, and using fear as a motivational tool. We also provided arguments for why foreign international students need to build positive social support systems to improve mental health, why I think Indians are different from Nigerians in certain aspects, and how both cultures can learn from each other. It was also my first time introducing the concept of cultural curiosity – where I ask my guests to ask me anything they are curious about regarding Nigeria.

Fun fact: Dr. Shah is still reeling from the shock of having dollar bills rained on him at a Nigerian colleague’s wedding dance presentation we all did in 2016. He wanted to know more about what ‘making it rain’ was all about. S/O to Chisom Chimah who was the bride at the said-wedding.

내 청소년| The One with Adenike - The Nigerian Youth: Episode 8 (2018)

Adenike had this to say about voting:

“More than half of those who voted for the over 170 million votes for BBN are not registered to vote in the next presidential election. Nigerians don’t even know the importance of voting and I understand that we say “oh, well my vote might not count,” that is the lie we have been telling ourselves. When it is going to count, no one is going to tell you. And until you start doing your own part, you cannot even complain of not getting the best infrastructure. It is your least civic duty. Even though you didn’t vote, by not voting, you voted for the winner.”

고향으로 돌아 가기| The One with Mo!+Olabimpe [Hot Seat Edition 1] - "You Can Never Go Home Again": Episode 7 (2018)

Mo SibylMay 3, 2018TheMoreSibylPodcast, Podcaster, Podcast, Reversecultureshock, abroadliving Comments

우리 아버지 꿈 때문에| The One with Erika - Japanese-American + The Dreams of My Father: Episode 6 (2018)

Mo SibylApril 26, 2018podcast, TheMoreSibylPodcast, Culturalnomads, Culture, Japanese, JapaneseAmerican, American, CulturalPatience, Quokkas, Quokka, Travel, Adventure, Japan, Australia, Texas, Austin, Podcaster Comment

나는 고향으로 돌아가고 싶다| The One with Bill - African-American + Nigerian: Episode 5 Part 1 (2018)

Mo SibylApril 19, 2018Nollywood, Podcast, Nigerian, Blacks, AfricanAmericans, Africans, DNA, Ancenstry, TheMoreSibylPodcast, AncestryComment

나는 고향으로 돌아가고 싶다| The One with Bill - African-American + Nigerian: Episode 5 Part 2 (2018)

According to Bill James:

"We can’t just be Black as African-Americans, we are Black from the Caribbean, we are Black from everywhere."
There’s a cultural difference between Africans and African-Americans and it is not necessarily based on specific characteristics, it has more do with educational level.
At some point, it would be really nice if we all had a chance to sit down together and talk about ourselves and maybe we can then find some common ground.
The American immigration system handpicks the best of the best and that includes Africans. As a result, most African Americans do not come in contact with Africans based on their social level and we do not run in the same social circles.

Mo SibylApril 19, 2018Podcast, Nollywood, Africans, AfricanAmericans, Nigerian, DNA, Ancestry Comments

우리는 아프리카 인입니다| The One with Bola - Just Between Africans and African Americans: Episode 4 Part 2 (2018)

January 16: Bola A

Somehow I have managed to enrage a small community of African Americans, all due to a structureless, baseless notion that Africans hate African Americans (not true). Who comes up with all these misconceptions anyway?? It is quite sad to accept the misguidance and the reverse-engineered mentality some have. Why the sensitivity and division? Africans have a rigid culture worn like a badge of honor. Failing to embrace or assimilate to a certain culture isn't necessarily hate, and while most African elders disapprove of certain western behaviors, most of us ( younger generation)still try to assimilate and get smacked for it (😂😂). To the African, respect and honor go hand in hand. Everything you do in this world, is reflective of your household; therefore you are expected to BEHAVE (which some translated as trying to be "white" I detest that statement so much).